


Letters to Mr. Pen Pal

by oyechi



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, How Do I Tag, Letters, Light Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Romantic Comedy, eh, jinbam, markjae - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-07 05:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5444573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oyechi/pseuds/oyechi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Choi Youngjae was at his English classroom, trying hard to stay awake and act "normal". His teacher was going on something about a project and frankly, he didn't really care about it. All he knew was that staying up late playing RPG games with his best friend, Park Jinyoung, was not a great idea because he's sleepy and he can't focus on what's "important". "I want to revive the wonder of writing a card to someone! Nowadays, you can text a person or Skype them, but its never the same as writing a genuine card." His English teacher said passionately, the image so clear in his head.</p><p>"So here's what your gonna do. I'm gonna assign you someone completely random from the neighboring high school and your gonna send them a letter. This isn't worth points but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it anyways."</p><p>Then he started talking about the details of the project, but Youngjae completely blanked him out from his mind. At the moment, all he cared about was getting the sleep he missed last night so instead of paying attention, he laid down his head on his desk and closed his eyes, sleep quickly finding its way...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Letter #1

**Author's Note:**

> This is narrated by letters & when needed, compilations of letters c:
> 
>  
> 
> Hope it's worth the read!

**Nice to meet you, Mark Tuan,**

I’m your pen pal until the end of the semester. My name? You’ll know when you finish reading this card.

Frankly, I think this whole pen pal thing is just BS. I’m only writing to you because our teacher forced us to do it. He literally said it wasn’t for points but still made us do it because if we didn’t do it, then he would fail us. Apparently he’ll be checking if we did send something to our dear pen pal. Sometimes I wonder why teachers in general make us do these types of things if it won’t serve us of use later in our life. Like group projects for example. It’s not that I don’t like them but I just don’t see the point of them. Teachers know there will always be that one lil’ shit doing absolutely nothing and still give them a passing. It’s unfair for the person that did all the work don’t you think?

But enough about that, let’s talk about me! :D

Okay so considering you’re a stranger to me, I’ll tell you only the basic things about me just in case you turn out to be some kind of psychopath. No offense, I’m just taking extra precautions. This is pretty shady and I don’t even know if your real name is Mark Tuan so yeah, I hope you’re not mad. C:

1) I’m a potato with feelings. But who isn’t really? I mean, aren’t potatoes just fascinating in a way? The way it’s so oval and brown on the outside? I think the same can be said about humans. Before you start thinking I’m a huge weirdo (more than I already am), I have a reason for thinking that. On the outside, a person may look a certain way (in this case brown and dirty) but when you get to know them, they’re actually really nice (in this case, tasty on the inside). See? It’s amazing how critical thinking can lead to this conclusion. Aren’t I amazing? LOL.

2) I think I must’ve been a vampire in my past life. I can’t stand the sun or the heat or sweating for that fact. Its gross don’t you think? Maybe that’s why I need to go out and get a tan so people won’t find out I used to be a vampire. Hah.

3) I remember the day when my dad suddenly decided the whole house needed a makeover, and made us move our furniture around so he could paint. My mom is rather carefree so she went with the flow and helped him paint. I didn’t because I felt like all the oxygen left my body and I struggled to get out the words. “B-But dad,” I managed to say. “I- I’m a f-fish! My r-room n-NEEDS to be blue! Otherw-wise I won’t s-survive!”

But my dad doesn’t think about these things, about the consequences that could happen, and he stared at me like he was the one that was needed oxygen. “But your room is red now.” He said pouting a little.

“I-It needs to be b-blue, dad!” I repeated, coughing a little. The pressure was far too great for my little lungs and I fell on my knees, hands on my throat.

“But it’s red now…”

It was around then mom interrupted us, her hand on my shoulder while her other hand was holding a brush. “Its okay, it’s purple now.”

I don’t know how my mother did it but it felt like I could suddenly breathe again. The pressure I felt on my lungs and the dread I once felt was now gone thanks to her. I remember how I inhaled and exhaled deeply before hugging my mom and thanking her because if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be here.

This is based on a true story just in case. I’m not weird.

Well, anyways, do you know Spanish? I’m in the Spanish club and as you might’ve guessed, we learn how to speak it. It’s hard, considering there are many similar words in different countries that mean different things. For example, the term  _strawberry_  in Puerto Rico is  _fresa_ but in Buenos Aires, the term for  _fresa_ is  _frutilla._  Not only that, you have to be extra careful with what you say because one word might be a swear word in another country. For example, the word  _capullo_  is a flower but in Spain, it’s an insult (stupid, imbecile…). If you ever do get to travel somewhere and you have to speak Spanish, stay in that place. ( :

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Jae._

 

｡◕ ‿ ◕｡

 

**Hello, Kunpimook,**

Your name is a mouthful to say. Do you have some kind of nickname I could use instead of writing your name? Heck, I didn’t write it completely because it was so long (and just in case, don’t think dirty)! I hope you’re not offended because I really didn’t mean anything by it and I really hope we can be friends. Sort of, anyways.

Honestly, I don’t know what to say. I mean, usually I talk a lot with my friends (Choi Youngjae. Maybe someone in your class has him? Check that out for me please?) and it’s always them telling me to shut up, but now that I have to put my thoughts in a paper, it’s like so what now? What am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to be saying something about me and asking questions about you? Oh, am I _supposed_  to be interested in someone I don’t really know? You feel me? I think I would’ve liked this project a lot more if the teacher didn’t force this on us, you know? I mean, he should’ve let us embraced the project on our own and he definitely should’ve let us picked the person. I mean, it’s not like I know someone from your school and even if I did, the purpose of this project is to get to know someone new.

I think Youngjae doesn’t like this idea. He’s a little more closed up than me but once you get him to open up to you, he’s a fun guy to be with. We’ve been friends since forever because our parents were best friends in high school so naturally, we met because of them. It was hard trying to get him to open up to me. Like there were so many times I invited him to play with me but he ignored me  _every_  single  _time_. Won’t lie, it did hurt the first few times but I got used to it with time, and I guess he did too because after like 100 attempts, he gave in to one of my invitations. I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I said that was like one of my happiest moments alive. Since then, it’s been history.

But, uh, yeah, getting back on track! I think he doesn’t like this idea. I mean, he prefers to be alone most of the time and he tends to avoid human interactions if possible. He’s almost like a cat in that sense. He HATES group projects. He says he “doesn’t mind them” when in reality, he does. Whenever I bring this up to him, he states that he just wants to seem polite (and it’s such a  _shitty_  excuse) and not offend anyone with his opinion. The funny thing is though, people  _believe_  him when he says it because no one knows him well enough as I do to know it’s just a pathetic attempt to be neutral with everyone.

Seriously though, don’t tell this to him if you ever do get to meet him, but I think this is a good opportunity for him. I think the teacher doesn’t realize he’s forcing Youngjae to attempt at human interaction, but whatever, it’s for his good. In that sense, I’m grateful to the teacher because I don’t want my best friend to be a loner forever. C:

Oh gosh, did I seriously waste like 19 sentences (I counted them) on just Youngjae alone? D: I swear, I DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM SO DON’T GET ANY WEIRD IDEAS!

So, uh, what about you? Do you have any best friends or something?

 

 

 

Class is soon going to ring and I’m not satisfied with this letter ): I have to write at least like three things about me according to the teacher so here’s my list:

1) I have an alpaca plushie that Youngjae gave me, and his name is Leo

2) I like Converse

3) And uhhhhhhhh, I like cake :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de,_

_Park Jinyoung_


	2. Response #1

**_No offense, but_ **

If one of us is a potential psychopath then I think it’s you. Why, you might ask. Well, you’re being oddly shady about yourself and while I think there’s some truth to your stories, you’re not really saying much about yourself. If there’s anyone that should be worried about someone coming after me, it should be me because I’m about to spill my life’s story to you. And yes, I don’t care if you’re a potential psychopath coming after me because unlike you, this is for my grade. And again, yes, I agree it is unfair to make a single person do all the work, but its fun working along someone else.

My name is Mark Tuan. I’m a 16 years old healthy boy. I have two loving parents and a younger brother that likes to bother me a lot. Up until two or three years ago, I lived in L.A so English is my forte, not Spanish. When I was little, I met a couple of guys that showed me how to play basketball and I fell in love with it. I passed the try outs for my elementary basketball team and we even managed to go to the Championship. We didn’t win sadly. I remember that night because it was one of the few times I went back to bed early, and I started to cry because I felt frustrated. It was my fault that we didn’t win because I didn’t make the winning shot, but mom and dad entered my room and hugged me tight. They told me what I already knew; that we had fun and that’s what matters the most, that they were proud of me no matter what. It’s moments like those that I am always reminded why I love my parents so much.

I tried for the try outs during middle school but it wasn’t the same. The status quo was something I never liked about those days. The way the jocks thought they ruled over the school and the way the cheerleaders thought they were the hottest girls in town. Everyone wanted to be like them, and I guess they thought that meant by winning the Championship they would be popular. That’s why even when I did pass, I rejected the offer and tried out for other clubs. Nothing caught my attention and for the first time ever, I felt regret. I regretted rejecting my position in the basketball team because if I hadn’t, then maybe I wouldn’t be so bored going to school.

One day, my dad took me to a music shop and got me a guitar to keep me entertained for a while. That’s what happened basically. I immersed myself in the music and practiced every day after school.

But I didn’t want to be the only one enjoying the muse so I decided to make a band. I posted up a couple of posters around the school and around the neighborhood, and a couple of days later, a couple of guys came over and tried out. Those guys are my current best friends; Jackson Wang, the drummer, and Im Jaebum, the base player. With them, I wrote many songs and practiced them, made covers and uploaded them on Sound Cloud, and even performed at the school and a couple of cafes in the neighborhood. I can honestly say, those were the best days of my life.

To this day, we still play together but it’s not the same anymore. They go to different schools and they’re both busy with family issues and school. I text them every once in a while, a simple, “Hey, what’s up?” and we text for hours. I truly miss those days…

I’ll sum this up really easily for you if you’re not really interested in the details:

1) I used to play basketball. Not anymore.

2) I used to be in a band with my best friends.

3) I still play the guitar whenever I can.

And since you ended your letter with a random fact, I’ll also finish my letter with a random fact as well. Did you know Astro Boy is the first anime ever? If not, go do your research and watch the episodes.

 

 

 

 

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan._

 

(✿◠‿◠)

 

**Dear** **Park** **Jinyoung,**

To be honest, I hear that all that time so it’s not a first. My friends call me Bambam so feel free to call me that if it’s easier for you (: Oh, and don’t worry! I swear I didn’t think anything dirty so no worries~

I think a friend of mine, Mark Tuan (a rly hot guy btw), is his Pen Pal. Your best friend should be okay with him because as far as I’m concerned, Mark is honestly a kind a person. He’s literally like a shojou manga character. I’M NOT JOKING! He likes helping out the “outcast” of the groups and getting them to interact with others (Kazehaya from Kimi ni Todoke anyone?), and the girls are literally all over him. I think he even has his own fanclub???????? ???? Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did have one. BUT YOU DIDN’T HEAR THIS FROM ME!

Whoa, so you guys  _literally_  been together since forever. That’s rly cool… I’m kinda jealous! Although I’m not an only child, I wish I had a close friend like that since birth practically. All of my friends have been a little superficial. No one from my elementary or middle school has contacted me… I mean, yeah, we have each other in FB but if we talk to each other are like a whole different matter completely. But I’m happy for you and your friendship to have lasted for so long~ :D I hope it stays like that forever!

This Youngjae person sounds rly peculiar! I haven’t met someone like that, someone that prefers to be alone. I mean, being alone is kinda lonely isn’t it? (But I do agree with the group projects thing… THEY SUCK! ):< )

Oh, don’t worry! I don’t think I’ll be meeting him anytime soon so your secret is safe with me~ and again, don’t worry! I don’t think you have feelings for him~ I mean; you’ve been together all of your life so of course, he would be a topic you would touch a lot! C:

I may not have best friends in school but I do have in the internet! There’s a site called XXX and I’ve chatted with a couple of people there. They’ve all been so nice to me! If I were to call someone my “best friend” in the internet, then it would be  ** _yu_gyeom_**  because I think they understand me the best. We have a lot in common and we never stop talking… its actually really nice.

 

 

 

I think I may or may not like him. I’m not sure.

 

 

This is a secret by the way. If you tell Youngjae about this… e_e

Well, I hope this letter isn’t so crazy and I didn’t weird you out. Here are the three facts about me:

1) I watch anime and read manga in my spare time c:

2) If I were to name my favorite anime so far then it’s  **Tokyo** **Ghoul**    

3) I want to have a cat when I’m older and name her Kira

 

 

 

 

 

_From yours truly,_

_Bambam ;)_


	3. Letter #2

**I’m shocked,**

How did you know I didn’t give two fucks about your life story? But it makes me happy to know that you summed it up for me (: talk about considerate, am I right?

And for your information, I did know that already. Try to be more original with your random facts next time. You won’t be able to top mine if you continue in that pace! (;

Try and guess what this means:

 

_“No pretendo, ser tu dueño,_

_No soy nada yo no tengo vanidad_

_De mi vida, doy lo bueno,_

_Soy tan pobre que otra cosa puedo dar.”_

_Sabor a mi,_ Los Panchos

 

 

Have fun guessing what it means!

(I’m so nice sometimes it SHOCKS me)

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Jae._

 

(◕‿◕✿)

 

 **Dear Bambam** ,

This Mark guy does sound nice (like maybe a little too good to be true) but I can’t help but worry. When I asked Youngjae about him, he rolled his eyes at me and muttered something under his breath. That can only mean they aren’t getting along well. What do you think? Am I being too nosy about it or am I worrying too much?

Maybe those guys that didn’t contact you weren't worth it. Bambam, I hope this doesn’t sound offensive or something, but some people just aren’t worth it. If they didn’t contact you after hanging out with you at school or something, then they suck because their missing on tons. I mean, you only sent me one letter so far but I like you already. You seem like a fun guy to be with and I want to be friends with you. If they ever make you feel sad, insecure, lonely or anything negative at all, leave them because you want to be surrounded by people that actually like you. (: You don’t want to be surrounded by things that make you depressed, right? I know it’s hard but continue searching for that one friend that will always be with you no matter what! I guarantee it will be worth the time and effort (; 

And I appreciate the thought (: thanks.

FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT! All of my other friends say I have a crush on him when it’s totally not like that at all! Like okay, sure, he has a really pretty eye smile when he smiles and it might make me feel weak, and he might have the most perfect voice EVER that leaves me with my jaw open like a idiot, and it might make me a little jealous when someone tries to hit on him, BUT ITS NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL! I swear to God, I only see him as my best friend and since we’ve been together for the longest of time, it’s hard to imagine a day without him. Of course, it’s inevitable that he’s a topic in my life. He’s my childhood friend for God sake! Sigh, sometimes I wish people had childhood friends so they would understand my predicament better >_<

But moving on, be careful on the internet! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s bad because I have a few of my own, but there’s always that fifty-fifty chance that a person could be lying to you. I know I can trust my friends because I met a couple of them already in person and have them on FB. Of course, it goes without saying I wasn’t alone when I met them. I dragged Youngjae with me when I met them and he watched over me from a corner of the shop or café.

More than that though, I’m interested in this  ** _yu_gyeom_**  person. How did you meet him? Like I know it was on that site but how did it happen? What do you even do on that site first of all? It’s the first time I’ve heard of it so yeah. I’m guessing he also likes anime since you claim you have a lot of in common? Is his favorite anime  **Tokyo Ghoul** too? Am I being too nosy again? /: I’m sorry if I am, it’s like my second nature to worry. I think it started developing over the years because of Youngjae. He seriously makes me worry too much. I think if I ever do die, it’ll be because of him. Hah.

Oh! And don’t worry! I won’t tell Youngjae about this----

 

 

 

 

Sorry, about that. I was writing this letter next to him and he doesn’t know what privacy is so he read a bit about it. When I half threatened/questioned him about it, he said he didn’t read much about it, just the part of Tokyo Ghoul. So don’t worry, that part doesn’t say much about your crush (:

If it makes you feel better, Youngjae is also a huge fan of Tokyo Ghoul so if you ever do meet, you can fangirl about it! (I swear, sometimes he doesn’t shut up about that anime. It’s so disgustingly cute, it makes me want to hug the life out of him ahaha)

Getting back on track again (I do this a lot don’t I? Get off track, I mean), be careful in the internet. You never know what’s true or not. When you think about it, it’s like this. I mean, for all you know, I can be some psychopath (as Youngjae would say) plotting your death any minute now. Maybe this Youngjae person I keep telling you about is just a fiction of my mind or  _maybe_  Park Jinyoung isn’t even my real name. It could be a fake identity because when you turn me in to the cops, no one would be able to track me down. Maybe I like reading mystery novels a little too much and that’s why I’m writing these theories or better said, plot twists. Lol.

But just in case, I promise I’m not some kind of psychopath that’s planning your death, that Youngjae  _is_  a real person, that Park Jinyoung _is_  my name and that I like mystery novels. Though wouldn’t that be cool? If someone did turn out to be using a fake identity and you try to talk to your friends about it but they don’t believe you? I think there is a book like that but I don’t remember the name now…

What about you? Do you like books? I guess you prefer manga though, right? What’s your favorite manga? I think my favorite manga ever is Death Note. I know it’s kinda an unpopular opinion or something because everyone likes Death Note, but I’m a huge fan of the psychological events taking place. It’s interesting to see that kind of thing. I guess that’s why I don’t mind re-watching  **Tokyo Ghoul**  with Youngjae. The struggle that Kaneki has to go through is just so intense; to give in to his half and eat his own kind, or to reject his half and struggle. I personally wouldn’t know what to do if I was in that situation. What would you do if you were in his shoes? That’s the question of the day!

What would you do if you became half ghoul like Kaneki?

Would you give in and eat your own kind, or struggle and reject his half?

I’m starting to think that I wouldn’t eat my kind. I mean, I guess the hunger would be intense but I wouldn’t want to eat my loved ones…

 

 

 

 

(I just asked Youngjae and he said he would eat his kind. Such a selfish boy sometimes. And here I am, getting emotional about the thought of eating him and my family… -_- I’m not loved by him.)

 

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung._


	4. Response #2

**_Well,_ **

I don’t know, maybe it was the way you chose your words so it could be interpreted like that? Or maybe it was your attitude? Yeah, I think it was those two key things that helped me guess. But I’m glad it made you happy and not to brag, but people tell me that all that time.

This is just me assuming things, feel free to correct me, but are you trying to make me out to be stupid? It feels as if you’re almost looking down on me for not knowing Spanish. And in case if you are, it’s not a shame to not know something and much less speak it because you know why? All humans were born without knowledge at first. They earn it as they grow up because knowledge is an essential tool for life. It can be a double edged sword at times when humans use it for the wrong things and not for what its supposed be used for. People seem to forget that and feel ashamed when they don’t know something, when in reality; they shouldn’t  _bother_  to feel that way. Besides, maybe the reason as to why someone doesn’t know something, in this case a language, is because they don’t have money for the education. Or maybe because of health issues and they can’t learn because they are mute from birth, or because they are mentally retarded.

So my question is this: are you looking down on me because I don’t know something?

If the answer is yes, then I expect your next letter to be blank because you are ashamed of that.

If the answer is no, then I expect your next letter to be making comebacks.

 

 

 

Oh, and by the way, the lyrics mean this:

 

_“I don’t intend to be your owner,_

_I am nothing; I don’t have any vanity left,_

_From my life, I give what’s good,_

_I am poor; what else can I give?”_

_Sabor a mi,_ Los Panchos

 

Try and give me a challenge next time. Although Spanish might not be my forte, I can at least make out a couple of things thanks to Google translate.

And as for the random fact, did you know that Lesotho (a country in Africa) used to be called as Batsutoland but then it was changed to Kingdom of Lesotho? Politics happened in a sum and now it’s currently known as Lesotho. It had many change of flags too because of Britain and what not and now its part of the Commonwealth of Nations. (It’s an international organization of 53 member states that were mostly territories of the former British Empire.) Look it up if you’re interested in it.

 

 

 

 

  _From_

_Mark Tuan._

 

(︶︹︺)

 

**Dear Jinyoung,**

That’s weird… when I asked Mark about his Pen Pal, he simply smiled like he knew something and didn’t say anything about it. I assumed they got along well because of his silence, but I guess I was waayyyyy off LOL

Eiiiii, I think you’re worrying too much! This is Mark Tuan we’re talking about, THE social butterfly of the whole school, okay? Trust me on this. He’s the type of guy that’s impossible to hate. If Youngjae still hates him after a couple of more weeks later, he’ll have my respect because I don’t know anyone that hates him. I’m not kidding or exaggerating. He’s just  _that_  loved by everyone.

Thank you… no one has said this to me before. I am aware that your right, that they aren’t worth my time, but I still can’t help but feel like that ): I mean, maybe it rly is me. Maybe I’m not that fun to be with… but then there’s this part that’s like screw them, I’m awesome the way I am. It’s their loss if they don’t want to be friends with me and sometimes it’s just so confusing… but just because I feel like this doesn’t mean I’ll give up c: I want to continue searching for them, for friends that will always be with me no matter what. I’ll surround myself by people that actually care for me, that like me for who I am like you said (: so thank you again. Youngjae is lucky for having a friend like you.

…

……

………

Okay (: whatever floats your boat. You don’t have  _ANY_ feelings for him whatsoever. I got it. And yeah, you’re totally right! Just because you feel like that doesn’t mean YOU LIKE HIM or anything at all. PSHHHHH, who even said that in the first place? I wanna slap some sense in that person and ask him if he’s crazy for thinking that. xD

Oh, yeah, I’m totally aware of that. I don’t trust someone on the internet until we’ve met face to face, which has literally been hardly anyone. Or more like no one. orz I mean, there have been a few that wanted to meet up, but I don’t have anyone to back me up like you do. If one of them was an actual psychopath, there would be no one to back me up because I was alone ): it’s scary in that sense.

Well, first of all, it’s a dating site. You can upload photos, write statuses, chat with people, etc. It’s like a FB but for dating basically. So I had uploaded a selfie a couple of weeks ago, hoping to get some feedback on it because I rly liked it and stuff, and I received my first notification from him. It was a like and I got so excited about it because I checked his profile and he was totally my type. I waited to see if he commented or anything but when he didn’t, I gathered up my courage and started a conversation with him. It was possibly one of  _the_ most awkward conversations  _ever_  but fuck it, I did it and that’s what important xD

It went something like this:

 

**BamBam1A:** _Hey_

**Yu_gyeom:** _Uh, hey_

**Bambam1A:** _So I noticed you liked my selfie… what was that about?_

**Yu_gyeom:** _Excuse me?_

**Bambam1A:** _Maybe it was me, but you liked that selfie of mine a little too fast than what’s considered normal ;)_

**Yu_gyeom:** _Oh god…_

**Yu_gyeom:**    _(_ _╯__ _╰) iT WAS JUST A LIKE_

**Bambam1A:** _Suuurrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee_

 

Hmmm, looking at it now, maybe it wasn’t awkward but like maybe a little funny. Maybe that’s why he continued talking to me o_o

WELL ANYWAYS, after that conversation, we continued talking and we hit it off. Yes, he also likes anime and while Tokyo Ghoul might not be his favorite (we still fight because of this), he likes Psycho Pass. And I am 100% okay with that because Psycho Pass was a pretty badass anime too so what’s there to dislike? Am I right? :D oh, and don’t worry! You’re not being nosy (: if anything, it makes me happy because that means you care! What does Youngjae do that makes you worry so much? o_o

Well, since you trust him a lot, I’ll let it slide this one time! C: anD YES THAT MAKES ME HAPPY TO KNOW! I rly hope I can meet him one day~

…

……

Okay then (:

But I trust you! I don’t know why but I feel like I can trust you. The thought of you being a potential psychopath never crossed my mind when I was writing to you. Even now, the thought of you being a psychopath seems so funny to me, I don’t know why. If my friend, Mark, were to know this, he would tell me I basically dug up my own grave because I trusted you so easily. I don’t think I’ll regret it though since you basically gave me life AND love advice ahaha

(And try to remember that book! Now I’m curious about it! ;) )

Believe it or not, I do like books. Although I might not read them as much as manga, I do enjoy reading them. I once read a book called  **I’ll Give you the Sun**  and I cried my heart out because it was so sad )): as for manga, I think my favorite manga is  **We Were There**! I know it’s like a weird choice maybe, but I loved how bittersweet it was. I mean, yes, Yano was such a dick most of the time but he suffered enough and he needed his happy ending… which he did have at the end, which I’m super happy about! You should read it when you have time (: And as for Death Note, I haven’t read the manga but I did get to watch the anime. Apparently, the manga has a better ending than the anime??????? Is that true??????????? ???????  

And that’s a rly interesting way of seeing things! :0 I’ve never rly thought of it that much but now that you asked me, it’s a hard decision! Let me think about it for a bit…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, I thought about it and I agree with Youngjae. I would eat my own kind to survive because I need to live my life ;)

 

 

 

 

 

_From yours truly,_

_Bambam ;)_


	5. Letter #3

**_You know what?_ **

So maybe I did look down on you for that but frankly, I don’t care. I thought I stated this from the very beginning. I have no intention of being friends with you so you don’t need to worry about trying to befriend me. That stuff doesn’t interest me. Here’s what I propose to do (since this is for your grade):

Send a blank letter.

It’s not like your teacher will open the letter and check anyways so it’s a win and win situation, don’t you think? And since I think, no, I _know_  this is a great deal for both of us, I’ll just say goodbye to you right now.

Mark Tuan, you were a worthy opponent for the first two weeks since we started to send each other letters if I do say so myself. Unlike many others that have tried and converse with me but have got shot down from the first try, you have persevered until the end. Still, it cannot be compared to a person I know that got shot down constantly and possibly, hurt because of my words. However, because of their stubbornness, they became an important person in my life and I’m grateful to them every single day they hang out with me (but they don’t need to know that). For whatever reason, you hanged on and sassed me back, making me extremely pissed for the first time in a while and yet, interested in what you had to say. I won’t deny you weren’t an interesting fellow, but I’m tired of this and I don’t want this to turn into anything.

I hope you study more Spanish because it will be extremely useful to you in the future. It’s the second most spoken language in the world after Chinese.

 

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Choi Youngjae._

 

щ(ಥДಥщ)

 

**Dear Bambam,**

I can’t help but worry. After the letters came in today, Youngjae looked very pissed. It’s been a while since I last saw him like that; sending glares to everyone he met eyes with. The last time I saw him like that was when I ate his brownie accidentally. I didn’t bother to ask him if I could eat it because he doesn’t really care if I do eat it or not. But when I did eat it, he got angry at me because apparently, he was looking forward to eat it. It would’ve been funny if he hadn’t ignored me for one day.

But, uh, yeah, getting back on track… that was the last time I saw him like that. He looked a little better after he wrote his reply back, but he continued glaring at everyone. I can’t really talk to him at the moment because a furious/pissed Youngjae is not approachable. Or rational for that fact. He ignores everything even though he  _knows_  your right and doesn’t really think things through. But if you give him space, he does think about what you said eventually and tries analyzing what he did wrong and stuff. That’s why I’m here writing to you instead of bothering him.

Oh! But don’t get me wrong; I’m also writing to you because I want to talk to you! (:

Also, I’m taking your word for it. I’ll try and believe you when you say this Mark Tuan is a “good guy”. But only because you actually know him and I don’t, and because you’re my friend. If something happens that makes Youngjae have another mood swing or something, please send me his address so I can talk to him.

I know for a fact that it’s not you. Stop bringing yourself down like that. It’s not cool or anything. I’ll tell you this and remember it for life: _confidence is sexy_ (and essential _)_! Whether it’s a woman or a man, when they radiate confidence, doesn’t that make you believe like you can follow them or something? You don’t wanna follow someone that doesn’t believe in themselves and much less,  _date_  someone that doesn’t love themselves. And you should really listen more to yourself instead. Don’t give in to those nasty thoughts and embrace yourself as you are! 

That’s the spirit! I’ll be rooting for you! :D and gosh, no need to thank me. That stuff makes me a little awkward. (If only Youngjae would realize that though! -_-)

Why do I feel as if you’re being sarcastic? And what’s with all those period marks anyways? How is that supposed to make me feel better? Don’t tell me you also think I have feelings for Youngjae too. Please tell me you don’t. I mean, I don’t get it. What  _exactly_  am I missing that all of you keep saying the same thing? Frankly, it’s starting to get on my nerves because  _it’s not true_. I wish people would respect that and just drop the issue completely. In fact, let’s stop talking about this right now before I get pissed. What are you doing right now at this moment?

Good! Oh, then maybe one day, if we ever do get to meet face to face, I can accompany you to those meetings (to say it like that). There are a couple of benefits if I do accompany you:

 

1) I know how to fight

2) You won’t be alone

3) We’ll be talking instead of writing (;

 

I hope you consider my offer because I’m willing to fight off a psychopath if the opportunity arrives. There aren’t many like that if I do say so myself.

Oh my lol weren’t you embarrassed about making the first move? I mean, maybe it was just a like and nothing more. Though I guess if you continued talking, it was because you were right and he was also interested in you... Hmm. It sort of reminds me of my first conversation with Youngjae. It went something like this:

 

 **Me:** Hi! I’m Jinyoung c:

 **Youngjae:** …

 **Me:** …

 **Youngjae:**  …

 **Me:** … sO HOW’S tHE WEATHER?

 **Youngjae:** Can you leave?

 

The first few conversations we ever had were very similar to that one. I eventually broke his silence when I started to poke his belly and he exploded at me. Ah, memories…

But, yeah, this guy you like sounds nice and all, but be careful anyways just in case. You never know who they really are until you meet them in person. I never really saw Psycho Pass so I can’t really agree if it was good anime or not. Really? Youngjae always said that it was annoying that I kept worrying over him…

Well, since you asked, here’s a couple of reasons why Youngjae will be the death of me: :D

1) Youngjae can’t cook. AT ALL. Don’t even  _try_  giving him a knife and some vegetables to cut because the unthinkable happens. There was a time when he tried cooking for both of us some hot dogs, which are fairly easily cooked in the microwave oven, right? Well, it somehow exploded and the next thing I knew, we had to buy another one.

2) Youngjae doesn’t like physical activities. He skips P.E and spends the period in the infirmary, sleeping away. He doesn’t do any sports at all and I’m worried that in the future, he’ll have health problems.

3) He’s lazy as fuck (related to the previous one).

4) He hates socializing and I’m worried if he’ll ever have other friends besides me (I explained this before so I don’t need to get into it).

5) He avoids talking about his future. I’m not really sure what it is he wants to do with his life, but whatever it is, I hope it’s something that can sustain himself. I also wish he would talk it out with me because I tell him everything about me and that sucks. Equality! ):

6) He tends to close himself in his room for DAYS if you leave him alone. I don’t know what he’s doing in there that takes him hours, days, to do, but he’s gone days without eating. Unless we (his parents and I) force him to leave his room by constantly bugging him to open the door, he won’t eat at all. Try telling me that this behavior isn’t suspicious at all! -_-

And those are just a couple of reasons. But maybe this is just me being overprotective over my best friend. What do you think? I should stop asking that so don’t answer it.

(Just in case, that’s another great reason why we should meet each other one day. I just realized this now. I mean, wouldn’t it be so awesome all of us together in one of our houses, eating popcorn and sweets, watching Tokyo Ghoul? This needs to happen one day!)

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry, I had to re-read that part again. I totally get you. I never once thought of you as a shady person or anything, and it’s so strange because Youngjae is always telling me to be careful about that. Heck, even  _I’m_  telling you to be careful about strangers in the internet! (Guess he’s been rubbing off on me.) But I don’t know… maybe it’s because there’s something so genuine about hand written letters (I’m starting to sound like my teacher. Hah!) that texting or commenting on a social website doesn’t have? Then again, it could also be because my teacher made it clear it would be someone from the neighboring high school and not someone from the street. Maybe it’s both. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I also trust you too. (And you should also listen to Mark! He’s right about this!)

Oh, and the book is called  **The Year of Secret Assignments** by  **Jaclyn Moriarty**. You should really read it sometime (: its super good! The author writes everything in letters, post it messages, cards, etc as she narrates the story through them.

What’s that book about? I’m guessing someone dies or something because you cried? Who’s the author? I’ve heard of that manga before but I haven’t read it. I’m also guessing Yano is the main character of the story? (And I will (: when I finish reading it, let’s talk about it!) As for Death Note, it did end differently and better. I won’t reveal much just in case you start reading it!

 

 

 

 

You and Youngjae are both cruel.

 

 

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung._


	6. Response #3

**Oh,**

So I finally know your real name. I always thought that  _Jae_  was a little too suspicious and it turns out, I was right about it. Still, there’s something so bittersweet about finding it out this way. I guess it’s just me because you claim you don’t care about this. But I guess I imagined finding out differently like you telling me your name, but not for the purpose of saying goodbye, but as a sign that you trust me. This is making me seem like I got attached to you and it’s so funny because all we did was fight…

On the other hand, who gave you the right to decide that? Sure, it sounds like a great plan but I have no intentions of stopping now. I’m going to continue writing because you insist that you have no interest in this. I don’t believe that. You  _may_  think that your fine with being alone but there will eventually come a time that you will feel lonely. It’s sort inevitable because you’re surrounded by other people who are surrounded by  _other_  people. And before that happens, I’m going to befriend you whether you like it or not.

And again, your letter was too bittersweet for my taste. I learned another thing about you through a goodbye. I know for certain now that you have at least one friend and that makes me happy to know.

I didn’t know that one. I promise to study more Spanish so that next time you write back, you’ll be surprised by my skills. I learn pretty fast.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan_

 

(╯︵╰,)

 

**Dear Jinyoung,**

If you trust me, then don’t worry too much about this. I promise nothing’s wrong with them and if there’s anything going on between them, then I’m 100% sure that Youngjae will tell you about it (:

(Though I can’t believe you ate his brownie. You  _always_  ask for permission before eating it, dummy! xD my brothers do it ALL the time! Like when I’m craving for a midnight snack, I go to the kitchen and check if my stash (it’s where I keep all my snacks) is the way I left it… and it’s  _NEVER_  the same! They even have the nerve to pass the blame to my parents when they know that I know that they were the culprits! It’s ridiculous, rly.)

By the way, here’s his address XXX, XXX, XXX… don’t be too rough on Mark because he can be rough when he feels like it.

I know you said not to thank you, but I rly don’t know what else to say to express my gratitude. I mean, I’ve never received advice like yours from anyone else. Even  ** _yu_gyeom_** hasn’t said anything like that to me and frankly, it’s a little embarrassing to be told that… it sort of makes me seem helpless.

You’re still right though.

I  _should_  be more confident in myself and I should stop bringing myself down like that. I shouldn’t even need someone to tell me this because it’s something I’ve always known that I should change about myself. Besides, being the damsel in distress is soooooo 80’s or something, am I right?

I’m sorry ): I didn’t mean to sound sarcastic. I mean, I know you want to drop the subject and all, but I rly think it’s something you should think about. Ask yourself these questions:

1) Does your heart race around him?

2) Do you feel something tingly inside of you when you have some kind of skin contact?

3) Have you ever dreamt of him? Sexually, I mean.

4) What if he starts dating someone else? Would you be okay with it?

5) Can you imagine living without him?

6) What if you start dating him? How does that make you feel?

 

These are only a few questions to guide you more of less on what you  _should_  be asking yourself. You helped me with my stupid confidence problems so now it’s my turn to help you realize this. (;

Oh, and at the moment, I’m writing this letter as I listen to some music ( **Locked out of Heaven** by  **Bruno Mars**. Great song btw! You should rly listen to it :D ). What about you? What are you doing? What did you do during the weekend? C:

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry, I was had to re-read that part. It, um, sounds great. I won’t lie. It sort of caught me off guard since I hadn’t even thought of that before. But we should definitely meet up when the opportunity arrives (:

Well, since it was a chat online and it wasn’t face to face, I wasn’t embarrassed about it. Doesn’t it happen to you sometimes? Like when your one the internet, it’s different. You have more confidence, you’re friendlier, and you’re a whole different person. I guess, I was like that. I was someone different than I usually was, the unconfident me, I mean, and I felt like it wasn’t such a big deal. When he answered back, I was actually caught off guard because I thought he wouldn’t answer and if he did, then it would’ve been different. I thought he would’ve been a bit rougher about it like he wouldn’t want to talk with me so I was really happy when he answered me. He was a lot more polite and kinder than I thought he would be, and I just fell even more… ahaha. This is getting a bit emotional or maybe it’s just me! ^^”

That must’ve been hurtful at first ): I mean, I’m re-reading that part and while I do think its funny, I can’t help but think that must’ve been really rude. I wouldn’t have liked it at all if  ** _yu_gyeom_**  answered me like that… You have my respect for enduring that treatment, but isn’t that too much? ;;;;;; I get that he doesn’t like socializing and all that jazz, but that’s straight out mean! >(  

 **You’re not being annoying.**  Right now, you are because you can’t seem to get it right through your thick head that you aren’t. You’re caring and nice, and that’s RLY cool. If Youngjae doesn’t recognize that, then he must be blind. -3-  

And that is a looooooonnnnggggg list ahahaha xD it doesn’t surprise me he can’t cook actually. For some reason, I thought he would be like that bc I assumed he was lazy. It turns out I was right! :D

Maybe the reason why avoids talking about his future is because he’s unsure of it? Like I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. I don’t even know what university I want to go. I don’t like it when people ask precisely because of that, because I’m still unsure of what I want to do. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint them when I tell them I still don’t know. Or maybe he feels embarrassed about it? I never told anyone about this before (so it’s a SECRET! Don’t let Youngjae read it xD) but when I was young, I wanted to be a  _teacher_. It’s so mainstream and unoriginal, I know, but I liked the idea of explaining things to other people, talking about I studied for a long time. I don’t know lol problem was that I didn’t know how to explain things well so I gave up without even saying anything about it because I  _knew_  I was gonna get teased about it a lot by my family and friends. Don’t over think that too much and let him talk to you when he feels ready about it (:

As for that last point, it DOES sound very suspicious. I can think of a couple things he could be doing inside of his room, but I don’t think it’s any of that. I say stash a camera inside and  _spy_  on him! >D I think it’s only fair since friends don’t hide things from other friends, ESPECIALLY best friends.

Right. Tokyo Ghoul marathon. Awesome. (:

That book does sound interesting! I’m gonna look it up and order it soon so I can read it~ we can fangirl (or fan _boy_  about it but details! XD) when I finish reading it!

WELL! It’s about two fraternal twins, Noah and Jude, and how they got divided by their family.The book is narrated in two perspectives: Noah narrates the early years, explaining what happened, and Jude narrates about later, how it all came to be during the present and how everything patches up. (This is like a rly,  _rly_  summed up ahaha) And I won’t spoil anything in case you read the book later (; And yes, Yano is  _one_ of the main characters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, we’re not. We’re just thinking realistically xD

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_From yours truly,_

_Bambam (;_


	7. Compilations of letters: MarkJae

**So I noticed a little something,**

And that something was that you sent me a blank letter.

Why?

Did you not read my previous letter? In case you didn’t, but I wrote that I had no intention of stopping now, that I want to be friends with you. Why is it so hard for you to accept that? There’s nothing more to this except that. In fact, I firmly believe that you  _do_  have a small interest in this and actually want to continue it, but this isn’t the “usual” you. It might sound like a bunch of bull crap, but I think that it’s part of the truth. Why else would you have continued writing me back? If you really didn’t have an interest in this, you would have sent a blank letter from the very beginning.

I’ll also be terribly honest with you but it hurt when I received the blank letter. Knowing you, you probably won’t even check this one either and send another blank letter to me. At first, I was excited about this project because it meant getting to know someone knew in a different way than the usual one. Just the thought alone was exciting so when I received your first letter, I was surprised but ready for a challenge. I think you’re the first person ever to treat me in such a way and although the change is nice, it hurts sometimes.

Here’s my piece of advice for you:

Actions speak louder than words ever will.

I don’t think I have to explain this, right? This is just a friendly advice from a friend who has been there too. Take care of yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan_

 

(￣(エ)￣)

 

**I was right (again),**

You sent me another blank letter. Can I at least know your reading these letters I keep sending you? Draw like a happy face or something in the corner of the letter or something.

Now that you stopped writing me back, it’s up to me to make some conversation and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to write. It’s a little awkward in that sense, but I guess I’ve been in worse situations that this. I’ll just write whatever comes in mind then.

I think I’ll just write a writing prompt our English teacher once assigned us to do. Our teacher explained that if we did it every day for like 10 minutes then it would expand our imagination. I wasn’t so curious about it before but since I don’t know what to write, I’ll try to do that. I even put on a timer exactly for 10 minutes. Feel free to also try it out yourself:

 

_I am…_

_I dream…_

_Today…_

_Deep down I know…_  

 

I am the so called psychopath that Youngjae seems to hate for some reason. I still don’t know why or what I even did to offend him (except being friendly and offering him my friendship), but he hates me.

I dream of the day when we finally become friends. I am patiently waiting for it, for him to open up these letters and read them. I put so much each effort into all of them (okay maybe that was a white lie) and he doesn’t seem to care. He compares me to this person I don’t know and honestly, it pisses me off. I wish he would realize everyone is different and have different ways of doing things (and that includes befriending people).

Today that will change. The moment he opens up these letters, he will know for sure that I am no psychopath that’s after him, that I have no intentions of hurting him. Talking like this makes him seem like some kind of scared animal (and I think that’s very on point).

Deep down I know this is selfish of me, that I shouldn’t be imposing my friendship on someone else like this… but how else am I supposed to befriend him if he won’t open up to me?

 

 

The 10 minutes are up! I wasn’t intending for this to be so… sentimental, maybe? I’ll try to write something better next time.

Did you also do it? If you did, then draw another happy face in the other corner of the letter. I think I’ll finish this for today and hope for a reply. Take care of yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan_

 

(✿◠‿◠)

 

**Hey,**

There’s still no reply from you. I’m torn between giving up on your reply or persist some more and get you to answer. What do you think?

Today school was boring. There isn’t anything worthwhile mentioning except maybe that a classmate of mine, Park Chanyeol, has an idol for a pen pal. I only found out because he was making such a huge fuss about it during lunch that I had to ask him about it. He literally held out to me a magazine, his eyes sparkling with excitement and said, “Look at this!”

So I did. It was an article about a rising idol, Byun Baekhyun (have you heard of him?), who was answering all kinds of questions. The guy is cute. He’s sort of petite, shorter than Chanyeol that’s for sure, and has a really pretty eye smile. I understand why Chanyeol would be so love struck already but he’s not my style. I don’t tell him that though and instead I just congratulate him. He then starts to fangirl but I completely zone out because I started to wonder how you would look. I tried imagining you something similar to Byun Baekhyun but the image just didn’t fit. I guess it’s probably because he seems nicer than you.

I’m half joking.

I’m serious though. The image didn’t  _click_. Are you taller than him or me? Is your hair a light brown or something? Do your eyes disappear like his or do you have a really pretty smile? These questions sound so weird now that I think about it so don’t answer them. It’s not like you were going to anyways.

I’ll do that writing prompt again just like last time. I’ve set up the 10 minutes already so just like last time; draw a circle in a corner if you did it too.

 

_I am…_

_I dream…_

_Today…_

_Deep down I know…_

 

I am a colorful fish that’s different from the rest. Most of the fishes from the ocean I come from are black and white, but that’s because they simply haven’t met  _the one_. There’s a myth that if you meet the one then everything around you will take color, even yourself. But I wasn’t like that. I was always a colorful fish so what was wrong with me?

No one knows why.

I dream to be like everyone else, to be gray and find the one. I don’t like being the only one that grew differently from everyone else. Since little, I was isolated from the rest of the kids while they played hide and seek. If I did get to play, then I was always hiding and never found. Luckily for me, I have that one fish in my life that always stood next to me no matter what.

Ever since the moment I was born, he was next to me and I saw colors brimming with life. There was a time I thought he was like me but it turns out he wasn’t. He was just like everyone else, gray and looking, but for some reason, we were always together. He made me feel warm on cold days and made me feel the butterflies whenever we were alone together. It was almost on the verge of it being ridiculous, the way he made me feel special.

Today I will approach him and tell him of the weird feelings I’ve encountered lately. He’s right there in front of me, looking at me with those big eyes of his, and I can’t breathe for a moment. It takes a while for me to compose because he wasn’t alone. In fact, he was brimming with color along with a female that was holding his fin, looking equally colorful.

A part of me died.

Deep down, I knew….

 

 

Time is up! Whoa, this certainly turned out differently than what I intended (lol). What was yours about?

I’ll stop writing for today since I have homework to do. Take care of yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan_

 

(∩︵∩)

 

**Dear Youngjae,**

That sound so weird and cringe worthy (no offense). I’ll just stay with my usual straight to the point attitude. How are you today? Good, I hope. You’re still not writing me a letter and there isn’t any happy face anywhere so you still haven’t read my letter. I’m really starting to question myself if this will be worth it, but screw it. Might as well go all the way, am I right?

Today was a little different than other days. It seems like most of my teachers felt extremely lazy or something because we pretty much watched movies. They didn’t even scold us for talking during the movie or for not taking notes. The only actual class I had today was English class and it’s because there was something that needed to be explained no matter what (it was material for an exam). Not that I was really paying attention because a classmate of mine kept talking to me.

But anyways, that wasn’t even what I wanted to talk about. Today I was able to meet up with Jackson and Jaebum. It was the most fun I had in a while to be honest. We played for like hours nonstop and catched up with each other. Apparently, Jackson got himself a girlfriend. You should’ve seen him; he was so happy when he talked about her. He still has a couple of family issues going on but he’ll be able to visit by more often than before. As for Jaebum, he was focused more with school for the past weeks. He looked a little paler than before so I quickly changed the topic. I figured it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about.

Maybe it seems like something little for you, but for me, this made the day. There’s nothing better than meeting up with good old friends and catching up with them again.

Jackson decided to stay the night while Jaebum had to leave. It’s been a while since he last stayed over so my parents were surprised when they saw him again. They looked happy and kept him preoccupied for a while. I decided to sneak off to write this letter to you. I needed to share it with someone.

 

 

Sorry, it looks like Jackson finished talking with my parents. He doesn’t know what privacy is so I’ll stop writing for today. No writing prompt today.

Take care of yourself.

 

 

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan_

 

｡◕ ‿ ◕｡

 

**Today was pretty shitty,**

Because a couple of classmates of mine couldn’t shut up, my History teacher decided to give us a pop quiz to see how we like it. I hardly study for that class because he hardly gives exams, but I guess that was my fault. And just to make things a little worse, they gave us a lot of homework. I swear, sometimes I just wish they would know when to shut up.

Here’s another piece of advice:

Study every single thing.

It doesn’t matter if it seems useless or you think it won’t be in the exam, just study everything because then what you didn’t study  _will_ come in the exam. I learned this the hard way today. And no writing prompt today either because I’m not in the mood.

 

 

_From a stressed out_

_Mark Tuan_

 

щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

**Still no answer?**

Why I am not surprised? I’m running out of patience so I advice you to write soon unless you want me to get desperate and take drastic measures. I know people, Youngjae, and I can easily ask around for your house address whenever I feel like it.

This is making me sound like an actual psychopath so I’ll stop, but if I ever do it, you brought it upon yourself. Just saying.

 

 

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan_

 

ಠ_ಠ

 

**I’ll get to the point,**

Please answer already. I’m sorry for being a smartass and for being sassy, and if I’ve hurt your feelings, I never really intended to. Just please write me back. I’m tired of checking the mail box only to see another blank letter. If you have any dissatisfaction with me, write it down and I’ll take it no matter how rude it is.  _Just write back_.  
 

 

 

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan_

 

(╯︵╰,)

 

 

 

 

☺                                                                                     ☻

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Choi Youngjae_


	8. Compilations of letters: JinBam

**Dear Bambam,**

I guess your right. We aren’t best friends for nothing, that’s for sure… I guess me worrying about it like that doesn’t really help at all.

(And for your information, Youngjae didn’t show  _any_  interest at all about eating the brownie until the deed was done. It was partly his fault for not stating the ownership and you should really hide somewhere else your stash if they know where it is. Oh, and if it has some kind of lock or something, change it too. It’s possible they might also know it. You know, it’s funny; my parents do that whenever  _they_ snack. They pass around the blame between each other that it’s actually kind of cute.)

Perfect! Now I can meet him whenever I feel like it (which won’t be soon by the way). Youngjae also seems to be in the perfect mood so everything is chill for once. (:

You know I was thinking… maybe if he hasn’t said anything about it, it just means he doesn’t really care? I could be over thinking too much, but you’ve talked to him about right? Did he like show a big interest in it or changed the topic after letting you talk a bit? If he doesn’t care then maybe he’s not the one. Then again, who am I to tell you whether he’s the one or not? Just ignore me again.

Exactly! (: I’m happy that you finally notice your worth! Ahaha

I’ll only answer them because you’re my friend. Here:

 

1) Yes.

2) Yes.

3) Yes. More than once actually.

4) Well, if he’s happy with it, then why not.

5) No. That’s actually a rather absurd question.

6) It… actually makes me feel weird in a good way, I guess. It doesn’t really mean anything though because we won’t start dating now or ever.

 

Well, since you keep insisting, I don’t what this is supposed to make me realize but I’ll think about it some more. For now though, let’s drop the subject.

I’m writing this letter to you as I’m in class. I really shouldn’t be doing this but its History class and the teacher doesn’t really care if we pay attention or not. That  _is_ a great song by the way. Though my favorite of his is  **When I Was Your Man** , mainly because Youngjae had it stuck for like  _weeks_  and it eventually got to me too. Have you listened to it? (: During the weekend, I was actually spending time with my family since a couple of relatives came by to visit. It would’ve been nice if there was someone around my age and someone I actually talk to. Most of my cousins are  _way_  older than me (some of them even have kids, which isn’t bad except they cry a little too much) and our conversations are always awkward. It’s always the same questions they ask.

“ _So how’s school?”_

_“Do you know what you’re going to study?”_

_“What grade are you in?”_

_“How_ old  _are you?”_

Sometimes it’s a little scary I can relate to Youngjae a little bit too much. He hates it when they ask the same question for the one hundredth time. I don’t blame him; I wish they could spice it just a bit and ask “ _So how’s that drink?”_  Hah.

I’m sorry for surprising you then (and maybe for being a creeper?)! >_< I didn’t mean to sound so straight forward like that. Sometimes I speak without thinking how it might sound. Youngjae says it’s my bad habit. Well, besides worrying too much.

Of course it happens. If it makes you feel better, it happens to a lot more people than just us. I know because I have two or three friends that find it a lot easier to talk on the internet than in real life. And again, I know I say this over and over again… just be careful. It’s easier to lie in the internet than in real life. He could be just putting on a front or something.

It was at first when I was younger. I wasn’t used to be treated that way because many kids would want to hang out with me and they just naturally came flocking to me. At first, I felt like I  _needed_  to be friends with him because of our parents. After a while though, I started to genuinely want to get to know him better. So, yes, my first impression of him was that he was rude but it obviously started to change as I got to know him. Now I know that it’s just who is, that he simply doesn’t like interacting much with other people just as much as I do. He’s the type of person that if he interacts with someone, he needs to stay away for a long period and recharge. He’s all talk; he doesn’t really mean half of the things he say so when he says hurtful things, I know better than to get mad at him for it. I appreciate that you get mad at him for me though. Thank you. (:

 

 

Being caring and nice is really cool? Sorry, I may have a laughed at that line. I really appreciate the effort you’re putting in to make me feel better, really. And Youngjae  _is_  in need of glasses anyways. He’s being stubborn about it but he can’t read half of the things the teacher writes even though he sits fairly close to the chalk board.

I think he gives off the vibe to anyone, I think. There were a couple of girls that made him some lunch earlier during the year and although he was flattered, he asked them why they gave him that. “It’s because you never seem to bring any lunch so we assumed that you didn’t know how to cook so…”

(Which by the way, the only reason why he didn’t bring any lunch at all was because he always bought at the cafeteria. But these girls didn’t seem to know that so Youngjae kindly accepted the food. They offered to continue making lunch for him but he politely declined with a shit ass excuse that he’s trying to lose weight. They believed him anyways. I was a tiny bit jealous because he got free food even though he hardly talks to anyone in class.)

I… I never thought of it that. Now that you mention it, it would make a lot of sense if it was because of that. We are sort of at the age to start thinking about that stuff and Youngjae is the type to think about things alone. I find it kind of funny how you seem to understand him better than I do even though I’m his best friend and you guys haven’t even met. It’s crazy. Oh, and as for your dream, I think you would’ve made a great teacher anyways. (:

OKAY, SO I  _MAY_  HAVE BOUGHT A CAMERA OR NOT. Do I stash it in somewhere when he’s not at his house? Isn’t this stalker-ish?

That book sounds like a rollercoaster ride. I’m proud to say this but between Youngjae and me, I have better nerves of steel. I feel like if I read that book, I won’t cry like you did. Lol. Actually, here’s a better idea. Let’s bet to see if I cry or not. How much do you wanna bet? One dollar? Two dollars?

 

 

 

 

 

You guys are still cruel.

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung_

 

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 

**Dear Jinyoung,**

Exactly!!! !! ! Just relax and everything will be A-Oh-Kay! xD Besides, why would I tell you this if I wasn’t confident about it? (;

(But that doesn’t change the fact you didn’t ask at all. You still should’ve asked because that was the “right” thing to do in that situation. It might sound annoying coming from me but no buts. I suppose you might be right. I should rly change where my stash is but I’ve pretty much done everywhere already. Like there was a time I stashed it at the back of the refrigerator and it didn’t last long. Then there was the other time I tried stashing it on top of the refrigerator even though it’s hard for me to reach it and it lasted for a while, until one night I saw they used a step to reach it. I also tried in my room but ants eventually started to crawl around my room, and let’s just say I’m not a big fan of bugs in general. So yeah, I don’t know where I should hide it, though I’ll definitely try changing the lock or something. Aw, that  _is_ cute of them!!! :D)

Oh, did something happen that he’s in such a good mood for once?????? ???? ??

It’s DEFINITELY not that. I’m 100% sure that it’s just he might feel awkward about it. I mean, he’s asked me about it so it’s definitely not that. I believe in him and I wish you would too. He’s someone important to me and although it might seem foolish to you because I haven’t even met him in real life, I know what we have is real. He… he already said he’s interested in me. I also said I was interested in him so we’re planning on meeting each other one of these days. I’ll admit maybe it was a hasty decision but I’m willing on going all the way. I hope you support me.

 

 

 

This might seem sudden… but please don’t say things like that. Although I’m grateful for everything you have done for me, I’m kind of… _awkward_  with these types of things. Sorry for the inconvenience >_<

I’m sorry  _again_ , BUT DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE TO YOU???????? I mean, logically speaking, if you’ve had sexual dreams of a person (more than once if I may add), then doesn’t that mean something? And why exactly is it an absurd question? Because you think it’s a given that Youngjae will be with you all of your life? That’s just wrong. Youngjae will eventually want to spread out his wings and try new things and live his own life whether that includes you or not. I rly shouldn’t be giving love advice here because I’m still clumsy and unsure of my own love life, but I’m sure of that much. And the fact it makes you feel happy in a strange way means that you are indeed in love with your best friend. Park Jinyoung; open your eyes to the truth already.

Stop denying something that and man up to your own feelings.

And you know what? I won’t drop the subject. I want to help you realize what you’re missing out on.

(Ah, now I’m pissed.  : - ) )

You keep talking about the freaking guy and you dare say you don’t have ANY feelings at all for him? REALLY? How do you expect me to believe that if every sentence that comes out of your mouth (in this case, paper) involves Youngjae somehow? It’s ridiculously funny in a way because  _even_  you have acknowledged what you sometimes feel for Youngjae is weird and different from the rest… YET YOU STILL HAVE THE NERVE TO DENY IT. In fact, instead of asking yourself those stupid questions I gave you as a guide, read back to all of letters you wrote to me. I’ll even send them back to you and expect them back the next day or the other next day. Take as long as you need to because frankly at this point,  _I don’t mind._  Just… stop denying what you feel, okay? It might confusing or maybe weird because maybe you thought you liked girls all of your life and now this, but its okay. Many people have gone through this before.

I feel a lot better now that I wrote everything I thought. (:

Moving on! You rly should pay attention to class even though the teacher doesn’t care if you do or not. I mean, how would you like it if you stood up in front of the class only to be ignored (I swear, I sound SO sassy in this letter ahaha)? xD And yes, I agree 100%! That’s probably his greatest song ever like I remember it was basically everywhere I went to (not that I’m complaining though) (:  

SAME! I’ve been there a couple of times actually /: although I have my brothers with me and we talk and all, it’s not the same as talking with someone your same age. I swear, it’s so,  _SO_  awkward when one of my uncles try to ask me things. All of them must have some kind of telepathy connection thing because they ask me those  _exact_  questions. Every. Single. Time. And while I appreciate the effort, it’s just as you say. Why can’t they spice it up by asking about the party for once? (The world will never know ahaha xD)

Oh, don’t worry about that! (: you didn’t sound at all like a creeper so rest assured! It’s exactly that; it just surprised me a bit but I’m okay with it. And it makes you feel better; everyone has one or two bad habits. (;

I am being careful about it so don’t worry about it too much. I’m a big boy anyways! (PLEASE DON’T THINK DIRTY OR ANYTHING I DIDN’T MEAN FOR IT TO SOUND WEIRD!)

Oh, I see. So as time passed and he kept rejecting you, you started to develop feelings and those feelings only grew stronger as you got to know him better. Truly fascinating if I do say so myself.

 _Yes_ , being caring and nice IS cool. I wasn’t just saying it because you might feel troubled about it. I was saying it because 1) it is true and 2) because you might feel troubled. And if Youngjae is being stubborn about getting some glasses, dupe him into wearing them with some excuse xD or I don’t know. Tie him up and throw him at the back of the car and make him do the exam. : - )

Wah, he gets offered lunch by girls? Is Youngjae popular among girls or something???????? O_O

Exactly! So don’t worry too much about it because everyone goes through that at least once or twice during their life~ I don’t think I understand him better though… Maybe what seems confusing to you is actually not that complicated at all? I think, you just need to look hard and you’ll be able to see it (: and as for my dream of being a teacher, no I wouldn’t. I mean, it’s so hard for me to try and explain things that it just ends up with me getting confused and the person helping me out OTL

You should stash it somewhere he doesn’t look at all! Like if there’s a stop that he gets lazy cleaning or something like that! And should you rly be asking that  _now_? I mean, you bought it already so might as well go all the way xD

I’ll bet 50 cents. That’s as high as I’ll go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

:P

 

 

_From yours truly,_

_Bambam (;_

 

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

 

**Dear Bambam,**

There are a couple of things that caught my attention from your previous letter. I’ll point them out in a series of bulletin points just because I don’t feel like using numbers:

  *  Maybe you could stash your stash at someone else’s house. I’d be willing to hide it for you and I even promise not to touch it or anything. If I want to eat something, I’ll just write you another letter asking you if I could eat something. Better, right?



I actually don’t know why Youngjae is in such a good mood lately. All I know is that when he receives his letter from Mark Tuan, he bursts out  _laughing_  maniacally. And I swear it’s so weird because it’s like an evil laugh and he usually doesn’t laugh that openly in public. Or loud for that fact. (People have even given him looks for him laughing so loudly.) Usually when Youngjae laughs it’s because I hurt myself somehow or I said a really bad joke or some dark joke he read in a book. Well, whatever Mark Tuan is writing to Youngjae is something good, I guess.

And don’t worry. I’ll be careful from here and out not to say things like that again. (:

Ah, yes. Here comes what matter most in this letter:

  *  You shouldn’t be agreeing to meet people like that so recklessly. We talked about this! If you were going to meet someone like that then don’t go alone! It’s potentially dangerous! And isn’t it so soon that he said he’s interested in you? You first told me about him what, 4 weeks ago? How long ago was it that you first met him?  _Think about this some more_.
  *  Whether I acknowledge it or not, shouldn’t really matter to you should it? I mean, technically speaking, we don’t actually know each other. Although we might be writing to each other, we still don’t know each other in person so can the term  _acquaintances_ or maybe even  _friends_  still apply to us?
  *  What I decide to do with them isn’t of your concern.
  *  Also, I clearly  _explained_  this already in one of my previous letters. It’ll be  _unavoidable_  that I talk about Youngjae because we were best friends since very little. He’s been with me all of my life so  _of course_ , he plays a huge role in my life. Besides, can’t two people be friends without having feelings involved? It’s ridiculous! I thought you understood that much.
  *  You’re extremely sassy in your letter.
  *  I agree; they have a weird telepathic connection.
  *  Yeah, sure. You’re a “big boy”.



Youngjae isn’t popular with the girls. He’s only popular with those girls because he smiled at them once and they fell for his pretty boy act. Apart from them, he’s pretty much ignored by the rest of the girls unless they need to speak to each other.

  *  I’m already looking hard and look at where I am.


  *  I stashed it inside a book. It was messy.
  * Lame. At least, one dollar.



 

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung_

 

ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ

 

**Dear Jinyoung,**

It actually made me sad to receive such a short letter from you. I guess it was to be expected since you can’t seem to accept the truth as it is. I kinda feel sorry for you in that sense… you keep choosing to deny your feelings when that isn’t healthy to you. ): And since you did bulletin bullets too, I shall follow your steps:

  * Normally, I think that would’ve been a great idea but I think right now isn’t the greatest time. I’ll politely decline your offer.



THAT’S ACTUALLY REALLY WEIRD… Mark’s been all over the place lately. Like whenever someone tries to speak with him, he ignores them completely because he’s  _so_  deep in thought. There are other times when he’s in a foul mood and no one tries to speak with him because Mark has always been happy until that point. We don’t know how to deal with an angry Mark… and then there are times when he’s sad. He usually just sits on his desk and lies down his head and just stay there. For once, I think that you SHOULD be worrying about this.

Ah, yes. Here are some of the highlights of this letter:

  *  Well then,  _since it’s not my business_  to be trying to help you out and realize something crucial, it’s not your business either to be worrying about my decision. I’ll go alone and prove you that I am a big boy, and that I don’t need some  _stupid_  backup to help me out when an emergency happens like a certain someone I don’t actually know. (:
  *  While it’s true that you explained it to me before, IT’S JUST IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU GUYS TO BE FRIENDS.
  * You know what? Fuck you.
  * The bet is off.



 

 

 

_From yours truly,_

_B.B._

 

(╹◡╹)凸

 

**Dear Bambam,**

I’m only writing to you because I’m aware that I might’ve gone overboard in my last letter, but you need to understand that I’m sick and tired to be hearing the same thing over and over again. It’s not the first time as you know. The first time someone told me that I was in love with Youngjae was when I was in  _6 th grade_. We’re both in 10th grade so it’s been like what three, four years or something? It gets tiring after a while being told the same thing constantly.

And while it is true that what I decide to do with my feelings is none of your concern, I feel as if your safety is far more important that that. Don’t you dare go alone to that meeting, date,  _whatever_  you want to call it and risk yourself of being in potential danger. Tell you what?

I’ll accompany you to the meeting.

We won’t actually be meeting but at least you’ll have reassurance that if something does happen, you won’t be alone. It’s better than nothing.

Please answer.

 

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung_

 

(︶︹︺)

 

**Dear Jinyoung,**

I’m only writing back to you because I felt a little guilty for my attitude earlier. I didn’t mean to get so heated up but I was hurt because of your words… and you’re right. I should’ve respected your thoughts and feelings before anything else. I’m sorry for my behavior.  

That’s actually an rly good idea. We plan on meeting at the new café they just opened next to the movie center next Friday night. I’ll give you three key pointers to identify me:

  *  I have a chunk of pink hair.
  *  I’m short.
  *  Instead of being cool looking, I’m cute.



You should easily be able to find me with those pointers (:

 

 

 

_From yours truly,_

_Bambam (;_

 

(◕‿◕✿)

 

**Dear Bambam,**

Since you gave me pointers, I’ll give you one hint to identify me. The rest is up to you:

  *  I’ll be wearing a black hat.



 

What time by the way? Around 8 o’clock right?

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung_

 

（╹ェ╹）

 

**Dear Jinyoung,**

I’m repeating this just in case. It’s the café next to the movies center at 8 o’clock next Friday. Remember to look out for a short and cute boy with a chunk of pink hair.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous before in my life, and I’m not sure if it’s because I’ll finally get to see how  ** _yu_gyeom_** is in real life or it’s from finally getting to see you. Am I being weird? Am I the only one like this?

I think so.

Forget about that. Pretend I didn’t say anything at all…  

Anyways, I’m really looking forward to Friday. You better keep your word and defend me if something does happen!!!!! !! (:

 

 

 

_From yours truly,_

_Bambam (;_

 

（˶′◡‵˶）

 

**Dear Bambam,**

I’ve written self reminder notes just in case so you don’t need to worry about going alone. Though despite that, I have a pretty good memory so it’s not really necessary but it’s better to take precaution than be sorry later. So yeah.

Huh, well obviously you’re not the only like that. I’m also looking forward to seeing you in person. It’s kind of nerve wrecking actually after sending letters to you for a while now.

And don’t worry about that. If that guy tries to touch you, I’ll break his face if I have to. (:

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung_

 

(✿◠‿◠)

 

**Dear Jinyoung,**

It’s finally Friday and I don’t know what to wear. I’ve taken a bath already and I’ve set a couple of clothing on the bed, but nothing seems right. I feel kind of stupid writing this now, especially since the date is like two or three hours away from now, but I can’t help it. I’m not even sure if this letter will reach you in time but fuck it.

My heart starts to beat so fast when I think about what will take place a couple of hours from now. I still find it hard to believe that we ( ** _yu_gyeom_**  and me just in case) actually arranged to meet each other face to face. It’s almost like a dream that’s too good to be true. I actually feel like I’m up high in the clouds and everything is so nice, but something feels a little off and I’m not sure why. Lately, I feel as though I’m not so much interested in him but I don’t understand  _why_. Or how that happened for that fact. I still want to meet him… but not that way anymore, I guess.

What does this mean?

And crap, I should really start changing into my clothes now. When you do read this, please answer me back as quickly as possible. I’m sort of having a life crisis. ):

 

 

 

_From yours truly,_

_Bambam (;_

 

(∩︵∩)

 

**Dear Bambam,**

I’m sorry I only received this just now. Although I’m mildly amused at your clothing distress, I’m more worried about your life crisis.

What do you think happened? I mean, both of you looked like you had a great time during your “date”. In fact, I wasn’t needed at all.

 

 

By the way, why didn’t you tell me you were so cute?

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung_

 

（/｡＼)

 

**Excuse me?**

I, um, what? I’m  _cute_?

 

 

_From yours truly,_

_B.B_

 

( ・◇・)？

 

**Dear Bambam,**

What’s wrong??? Did I say something weird??? Ah, you didn’t like it when I said things like that! I’m sorry, I forgot D:

How could I have forgotten such a huge detail?

Please forget about it then.

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung_


	9. Letter #4

**You** _finally_ **replied!**

This is kind of a surprise for me to be honest. It just seems too good to be true so just be honest with me like you always have, and explain why you decided to answer now.

Oh, and I would like to clarify I wasn’t  _really_  going to take any drastic measures because I don’t care at all. Nope. Not one bit.

 

 

 

So, how’s life been treating you?

 

 

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan_

 

(。・_・。)

 

**Dear Jinyoung,**

I’m a mess. I can’t decide whether I should be angry or not at your letter. What do you think is happening to me? I’ve been so weird lately…

 

 

 

 

_Waiting anxiously for your answer,_

_Bambam >_< _


	10. Response #4

**If you insist on me being honest** ,

Then I will.

I actually ignored your letters on purpose because I was tired of this. We always argue with each other through these letters to the point that it gets so boring after a while. I’ll also admit you were pissing me off quite a bit though it was pretty much my fault that we always fought.

Anyways, point is, I was ignoring your letters because I thought that you would eventually get a hint and stop writing to me. But you kept on writing and although it was painfully awkward to read the effort you put into some letters, they were interesting enough. The second writing prompt you did was bittersweet. I actually felt bad for the fish at the end. You never did get to finish that writing prompt so maybe you could finish it and give it the happy ending it deserves. Just a friendly suggestion. :-)

Even though your letters made me laugh, I wasn’t going to take any chances of you potentially stalking me down. Really, I think anyone would’ve answered if they were in my shoes. I don’t want you to have an actual mental image of me. Just no.

 

 

 

And as for the answer to your question, if you receive this letter then it means I’m well and in a state of being able to write. ^^

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Choi Youngjae_

 

(✿◠‿◠)

 

**Dear Bambam,**

I didn’t say anything offensive in my letter though. Why should you be mad at my letter when I didn’t really say anything? And Bambam, I can’t really help you, unless you explain it to me…

So start explaining. Details would be nice.

 

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung_


	11. Response #5

**Oh…**

Well, this caught me by surprise. Not the part where you ignored my letters on purpose (I imagined it would be something like that), but the other part. You’re tired of us fighting? I thought you actually  _liked_  it because you kept refuting everything I said, but I guess you finally seem like a human for once. Hurray for the improvement!

To be honest, I have no idea what to write since I wasn’t expecting that. It’s been a couple of minutes since I read your letter and I had to re-read it just in case I was imagining it or something. It’s that shocking to me, okay. I feel like you’re going to roll your eyes at this when you read this so I’ll stop for the sake of you not rolling to space.

(See what I did there? Get it?)

And as for that writing prompt, did you really like it? I don’t know why, I just find everything here shocking. Be patient with me please.

Believe it or not, I actually like writing. It’s fun. Not many know of this since I’m private about certain things so you’re like the only person that knows. I don’t why I felt complied to tell you this since you either don’t care or you’ll skip this, but maybe it’s because we don’t truly know each other at all. It’s as you said. All we did was fight before and we never really got to know each other. In really simple words, I guess that means we’re just…

Strangers.   

So, I guess, what I’m trying to say that if you’re interested, let’s try getting along?

 

 

And while I’m at it, what’s so bad about knowing what you look like?

 

 

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan_

 

(╯3╰)

 

 **Dear Jinyoung** ,

I don’t know where to start!

Like whenever I receive a letter from you, I get so happy. It practically makes my day and I don’t even know  _why_. I was also rly happy when you called me cute, but then you took back those words. Who does that? I mean,  _no offense but_  that’s like getting on a rollercoaster and then falling because one moment I was high in the sky, feeling like I could do anything, and then I was in the dumps.

(That was a rly nice metaphor, right? :D I’m proud of myself ahaha)

There was also that time when you first offered me to accompany me to my date or something. The thought was so sweet that I had to re-read it. I mean, you’ve said many sweet things to me during these past weeks that if I were to list them down, it’d be a long ass list! But if I were to mention some, then there was also that time when you encouraged me to continue looking for someone willing to be my friend no matter what, when you gave me advice on everything practically, when you told me you wanted to talk to me because you were genuinely interested… I managed to act like everything was normal at the moment because I rly thought everything was chill, but then, I don’t know…

I guess that maybe I just forced myself to meet up with  ** _yu_gyeom_**  and convinced myself that yes, I liked him, that yes, I wanted to go through it. It must’ve been unconsciously because from the very start, I knew you were more or less off market. The determination that I had gathered with so much effort was crushed into pieces so easily by you and that’s scary.

I can’t describe it can’t well, but if I were to describe it then…

If it feels like I’m free falling.

 

 

 

 

(WHAT’S WITH MY METAPHORS TODAY!!!)

 

_From yours truly,_

_B.B_


	12. Response #5

**I honestly don’t know**

Whether I should feel offended by the fact you just indirectly thought of me as inhuman or by the fact that I created by myself this type of image to you. Yes, I’m sick and tired of this nonsense. Do you think I  _enjoy_  disrupting the peace?

Well…

Okay, it depends, but still.

It’s a little scary how on point you were just now. How did you know I would roll my eyes until I was in space? Not many people know that I have the talent to do so as I wish. Since you know, please keep it as a secret. You shall only be thanked until you make an oath that you’ll never reveal it to anyone else.

Ah, yes. Here comes what interests me most of your letter. I didn’t know you liked writing. Did you always liked writing or was it only recently? Do you happen to read a lot? Are you working on some type of story or are you one of those that write for fun? Because I enjoy writing. A lot actually. So much that I wish to be a writer one day. That day seems far out of reach at the moment, but it’ll be within my grasp eventually. I believe in myself.

Here’s another fact about myself. I’ve never told this to anyone else. I guess, there’s something about being strangers that makes it easier to talk about. I don’t have to witness your reaction to the sudden revelation.

And to answer your question, that was my intention when I started writing to you again. To “try” and get along with you.

 

 

What’s so good about knowing what I look like when we won’t ever meet each other in person? Think about it.

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Choi Youngjae_

 

(¬▂¬)

 

**Dear Bambam,**

What are you trying to say?

 

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is going down lmao


	13. Letter #6

**Holy** _shit_ **,**

 Let me just savor this moment because  _did Choi Youngjae just agreed to be friendly with me?_ To be civil with me and hold back his sharp tongue (well… pencil, I guess in this case, but details)? I’m beyond touched. Just… whoa. I don’t know what I was expecting as a reply, but it was certainly way different that.

Let me just leave some space so that I can savor the moment.

 

 

 

Okay. I savored it. Let’s continue where we left off.

In all honestly, you’re so full of surprises. First, being tired of fighting all the time & agreeing to be friends with me. Then, you want me to do an oath about not revealing your hidden technique, talent, whatever it is. Frankly, I don’t care about that but just for the sake of it, I’ll do it anyways.

(I, Mark Tuan, promise that I will not reveal Choi Youngjae’s hidden technique about being able to roll his eyes until he is in space. In case that I do, Choi Youngjae is permitted to hunt me down and make me do whatever he wants. In case that I try to get away with it, Choi Youngjae is given permission to stalk me down and label me as a “ _liar_ ” and “ _traitor_ ”. In case that in anyways I defend myself with a good comeback, Choi Youngjae is allowed to give me a piece of his mind. I will not make any attempt to defend myself and in case if I do, then you are permitted to call whoever to join you. I double cross my heart and I solemnly swear (that I am up to no good. Get it?) in the name of the great cosmic power that you have my permission to do so.)

 Now this. I mean, the sarcasm was to be expected (how to not?), but wanting to be a writer? It clicks. I can easily see you writing nonstop for hours until you collapse of exhaustion. I see you as someone independent and relatively quiet around others that aren’t too close to you so you just sit around anywhere, constantly writing. I’m probably more or less close to the truth, seeing as to how all of your letters are ripped from a notebook or something. I won’t lie. It’s nice to see that your opening up to me slowly after so many letters sent. It’s sort of fulfilling in a way.

And yes, I like writing to the extent that I write for fun sometimes. My English teacher often does this group exercise (don’t cringe); she divides us into four people and hands us a paper to write one. She then proceeds to explain the exercise, where person A starts writing a sentence and has to pass it to person B to continue with the story. Person B passes it to Person C, and Person C also passes it to Person D. We continue passing it to each other until time is up. Usually we have to read our story afterword, but that’s not my point.

I usually do this exercise with Jaebum when we’re bored. I don’t do it with Jackson because he’s never been a fan of books and writing in general, but he’s always the one that laughs the most when we finish one our random stories. I think they don’t suspect anything about it when I randomly bring it up, but I also think they wouldn’t mind even if they did know. It’s just one of those things that you like to do but no one bothers to ask about it.

As for reading, I can’t say I’m a big lover. I mostly read books I’m assigned to read for school or because someone, usually Jaebum or some classmate, recommended me a book. One of the few novels I’ve read that I enjoyed reading and that left me thinking was  **To Kill a Mocking Bird**  by Harper Lee. It’s a slow read but it all leads up eventually to that one giant bomb near the end, the climax for fancy words, that leaves you almost dumbstruck. Yes, it was a topic that kept being brought up in the novel but to be completely honest, I didn’t know what I was expecting. It’s a great read over all and if you haven’t read it, it’s definitely a must. I highly recommend it.

I’m sorry, but what’s this about a reaction? I’m curious as to your opinion about that matter.

 

 

Ah, but the thing is, we probably will. Our high schools are neighbors and we have to walk to school in the same direction every morning. The chances that I’ve been passing you by all this time without knowing it is very high.

 

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan_

 

(•⊙ω⊙•)

 

**Dear Jinyoung,**

I feel as if writing to you that previous letter helped me clear out my mind. Thank you for that, but… Do I rly have to answer that? Because I think that you get it without me having to explain it to you.

Or do you want me to wait outside your school and say it to your face?

(  _;)_  )

 

 

 

_From yours truly,_

_B.B_


	14. Response #6

**Omg,**

You know you’re overreacting, right? Like it’s not such a big deal that I wanted to be civil for once. What do you take me for?  _Jesus_.

Since you made the oath, I shall officially thank you for not ratting out on me. But alas, I have used once more my talent as I read your letter. Your overreaction just pissed me off and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. For that, I am not sorry about. ^^

(Also, keep in mind that I have photographed the oath just in case you dare to break it and try to get away from it.)

(Nah, I didn’t. It’s chill.)

(I lied. Again.)

I sincerely congratulate you. It’s true; I write my letters to you in my personal journal that I like to carry around just in case a story pops up, and rip them off later to send them to you. I’m sure you feel accomplished for guessing where I write my letters to you. In fact, I’ll leave exactly a space just so that I can clap exactly once. Feel free to join in.  

 

There. I clapped. :’)

What? I sound mildly sarcastic to you?  _Nonsense_! Why would I be making sarcastic comments anyways? When I say that I’m genuinely congratulating you, I am. When I say that it intrigues me how you say the image of me wanting to be a writer clicks, it’s true. I find it somewhat hard to believe in your words since I don’t believe so myself, but I’ll let myself dream a little for now. When I say that I find it interesting that you seem to have an image of me doing what I love, it’s true. How is that you have that impression? Please, do tell because I don’t have the slightest idea how you could possibly know so much of me already.

And I hate to burst your bubble of happiness, but I am nowhere near opening up to you. There’s still so much of me that you don’t know and most likely, never will.

As for the rest of the letter, I’ll easily sum it up to you:

  1. I know which exercise you’re talking about. Unfortunately, I’ve also had to do it in groups and present it to the class. (My parts may or may have not been the greatest.)
  2. Have you never thought of telling them though? I understand there’s no harm in them not telling them, but it might be more comfortable expressing yourself around them?
  3. I’ve also read the novel. I could never agree more. It was simply so well written and developed that I had to buy right away the sequel to it. Not that I’ve started reading it though. ^^”
  4. That’s a secret.



 

 

That’s very true. However, that still doesn’t explain why you’re so curious about what I look like. Respect my decision or I will take drastic measures to make sure you do.

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Choi Youngjae_

 

ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

 

**Dear Bambam,**

It pains me to say that yes, I do understand.  _Because_  I understand, there’s no need to visit my school to say it to my face.

I’m sorry.

I would like to continue as friends.

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated again?! :00000 
> 
> It's a fluke Istg OTL 
> 
> Enjoy!


	15. Letter #7

**You, my friend,**

Make it so hard to believe in your words. It’s not a matter about trust, but it’s a matter about how sarcasm is integrated into your very soul that it’s become hard to tell whether you’re being sarcastic or not. I can tell you’re being playful, but I can’t tell whether there’s some truth to your words. Are you or are you not lying about having taken a photograph of my letter?

On one hand, I believe you didn’t because you’re picky about certain things so taking a photograph would be, well, odd. I mean, why would you go so far as to take a photograph of some half assed oath? It might as well be a bluff.

On the other hand, however, I believe that you did because you might be kind of the grudge-y type of person. You might take things too seriously even though we were joking, and you might like the idea of getting back at me so you’ll use it to your advantage. There’s no telling what’ll happen when you’ll hunt me down and honestly, I’m not looking forward to that. If anything, I wanted our first meeting to be lovely and memorable.

Not with you ending my life.

That might be overdramatic though so I’ll stop.

(And for your information, I _do_ feel a little accomplished about finding out where you write because now I know you carry a personal journal, _and_ that my description of you was also on point.)

There’s something I don’t get. If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you believe in yourself? I mean, from what I can tell from your letters, you sound like someone confident. Maybe even arrogant at times. (I guess it could be an image you created for everyone else to perceive so that they wouldn’t worry, but I can be way off.) You write well. What’s there to worry about?

As for you question, I’m not really sure myself. I guess I just based it on the stereotypical quiet character in every anime ever. Haven’t you noticed it? The quiet character in an anime is usually the one with the most grave background story or situation, or just the most unexpected one like a Necromancer ( **Kore Wa Zombie Desu Ka**?).

On second thought, just ignore that bit and let’s settle for an “ _I’m-not-sure”_. Okay. Cool.

That actually really hurt and I don’t wanna seem insistent about it, but I feel as if that’s not completely true. Otherwise, why would you be sort of admitting that you found my observations “interesting” and “intriguing”? It’s questionable, but I’m sure you won’t answer that as always because you like being mysterious. That’s my conclusion as to why you don’t answer my questions; you like mysteries so much that you became one.

Since you did me a favor, the least I could do is return the favor. Here’s the rest of the letter summed up:

  1. See! This is what I was talking about earlier. There’s that confidence you always radiate through your letters so why on Earth are you feeling insecure? I’m also guessing your parts were the best. Lol.
  2. I’ve thought of it many time before, but it’s not like it’s a big deal. Just as Jackson secretly likes his ballet class and Jaebum secretly likes watching HGTV, I like writing. Maybe one day we’ll decide to tell it to each other’s faces despite it being super obvious.
  3. What? Who does that!! I mean, I guess you must’ve been pretty busy to have not read it by now.
  4. Again, what I was talking about earlier.



 

And can’t I just be curious as to what you look like? My classmates, even Bambam, a close friend of mine, have seen their pen pals. I’m aware it’s childish of me to feel a little jealous of them, but I can’t help it.

What kind of drastic measures?

 

_From_

_Mark Tuan_

 

(P.S. I wanted to ask you something precisely about Bambam. He’s talked to me about his pen pal before (more than once may I add) and he said that it was a close friend of yours. While I’m super curious about this so called close friend of yours, that’s not what I wanted to ask at the moment. Did something happen between them? Because Bambam is literally in the dumps. Usually he’s all smiles and laughter, but ever since the past few days, it’s been the complete opposite. It’s like he got his heart broken or something. Please tell me if you know something. I can’t stand seeing him like this anymore.)

 

(︶ω︶)

 

**Dear Jinyoung,**

Or should I say Jinyoung? Does _dear_ make you uncomfortable knowing my feelings now?  I rly hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable but if it does, then I’ll stop. Just say the word.

I just wanted to let you that I need some time.

Time for what? Well, even though I knew the result, I still can’t get over it. Not yet, anyways. Please don’t worry about me because I’ll be fine.

Or more like, please stop acting like you care about me. It hurts.

 

 

 

_From_

_B.B_


	16. Response #7

**Excuse you,**

But it’s called having talent. Sorry (not sorry) if my sarcasm is too much for you to handle. Learn to deal with it because I am not toning it down.

I can’t believe you just wasted seven sentences on analyzing whether I was lying or not. Why are you putting such an effort into analyzing it? Don’t think it too much and go with your gut. Now, what’s your gut telling you? Was I lying or not? ;’)

(It’s not like knowing what I carry around or what I like to do in my free time will provide you the cure to cancer. Stop acting like it’s such a big deal because I’m starting to regret this whole thing…)

Don’t you ever have those moments of doubts? Sometimes I look at myself and think that I’m okay, everything’s okay, everything’s chill. Then there are other days when I look at myself, and not everything’s okay. It’s during those days that I feel most doubt in everything I’m working on. I feel as if everything I write is shit, nothing is flowing right, character development? _Hah_ , what’s that? Plot? What plot? You mean the so called story line that I’m supposed to be working on? I allow myself to believe in such thoughts and it does the exactly what every emotional teenager go through. I get depressed. I feel as if I’m slowly losing my grip on what I had and all the confidence that I had is gone.

See, at the moment I’m perfectly fine. Just give it a few hours till I get home and start working on my story just so it can all fly out of the window. All that confidence that you’re so familiar with will be gone within seconds.

It’s not always that this happens. Sometimes I’m on a row. I’m writing and writing until I realize that it’s past midnight and that I need to sleep. I’ve spent days immersing myself on my story because it’s so important to me, because I want it to happen no matter what. I’ve spent so many days, weeks, months on my story and you ask what’s there to worry about? How about everything (just to not make a list of things)?

I’ll openly ignore that anime reference and continue with the letter.

Clearly, I just contradicted myself again. I have no idea what even drove me to answer your question, but I guess I want to stop being a mystery. Maybe if I stop, you’ll stop bothering me.

  1. My parts were okay. I don’t do well under pressure.
  2. Interesting hobbies they both have. Won’t blame either of them for liking them because ballet is tough to do and HGTV is fun to watch.
  3. I was busy with my own story.
  4. Hmm.



 

Well, could you stop being curious? Thanks.

My drastic measures are top secret.

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Choi Youngjae_

 

(P.S. This so called friend of mine has also been hiding things from me lately. He hasn’t told me much about his pen pal. Not that I was ever interested in knowing, until now anyways. I’ll let you know if he tells me anything new. I hope this Bambam person cheers up.)

 

(╹◡╹)凸

 

**Dear Bambam,**

It doesn’t make me uncomfortable.

I understand. Take as much time as you need until you feel comfortable again. I wasn’t expecting you to be over it so soon anyways.

As much as I don’t want to worry about you, I still do anyways. It’s my second nature to worry and you of all people should know that at this point.

I still care about you. I might not feel the same as you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for your wellbeing and everything else.

 

 

_Sinceramente de_

_Park Jinyoung_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my favorite chapter, but at least it's something. Merry Christmas!!! I hope everyone has a lovely day, receive lots of presents & eat lots today! 
> 
> I probably won't update again what's left of the year, so Happy (early) New Years Eve too!!! I hope you were able to accomplish many wonderful things during 2015 & will continue during 2016 :)


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